Watch the Conductor

Now that Bai, our organist, is back, I can once again step in front of the congregation and lead the singing. Here's the thing about congregational singing, though.... If I'm not conducting, we tend to revert to a relatively slow tempo. This totally happened a few times on Sunday. I gave the cue to the organist, and then started to set up my music stand, and get to the appropriate hymn. So, I gave a simple cue to the choir to begin singing; and then kept setting up without conducting.

What then happens, biologically and scientifically is this: We listen for a cue from the room. There IS no conductor, so we have to rely on sound. We hear someone else sing, that triggers our brain to begin, we search for the correct word, and then we make our sound. The whole process takes a fraction of a second, but those fractions add up, and there becomes a delay in the beat which becomes a slowed down tempo. 

Add to that the fact that Sound moves slower than light. Which means even if I WAS conducting, you would hear the other congregants sing a quarter second after you would have SEEN me give the cue. 

I encounter this phenomenon in all of my choir groups. The acoustical illusion is amplified when you're in an acoustically live space. The Silver Chords sing at St. Andrew's Lutheran Church in Smithtown, which has a high vaulted ceiling. This makes us sound AMAZING, but it means that for the singers who aren't watching, they're hearing a bigger delay, and then singing a half second after that, which really throws off the tempo, and the rhythm of some pieces. 

Now what's supposed to happen, is the musicians are supposed to know the piece so well, and keep the tempo in their heads so that they can confidently enter on the beat, along with everyone else that is also confidently entering on the correct pulse. AND you should be watching a conductor whose main job during a performance is to show the beat with their hands for the group to follow. 

That's what's supposed to happen. 

But often we arrive at the performance not as prepared as we should. And we are not as secure that we know our parts as well as we actually do. Our insecurity causes us to rely on somebody else to do it first. When we hear the others singing as well, we know we're on the correct part, and only then can we sing confidently. In the eighth of a second it takes for that to happen, our tempo is significantly slower, and it FEELS like it drags on. That's when I get feedback from folks, "I didn't like that hymn, it's too depressing." No, it isn't; we just sang it that way. 

With all my choirs, I try to make the singers less reliant on each other and more secure in their part. For example, I often warm up with canons, usually in 4 parts. But sometimes, I try it in 8 parts, or with each individual singer starting on their own. I sometimes scatter the seating arrangement so that singers are surrounded by other parts, and they need to know their own part and sing confidently. This isn't a punishment, it's to build independence in each individual singer, which translates to more secure tempi in performance. 

Long story short, last Sunday the tempo slowed to a dirge, so I began conducting, and singing more assertively to try and guide our congregation towards the more upbeat tempo. And that's when I start thinking: 

How often in our lives does the same thing happen? God is our "conductor," attempting to lead us through our lives at a brisk, happy, peaceful tempo. He's laid out our instructions, and taught us what our part is in the grand scheme of things. All we have to do is confidently follow His lead and do our part; but we're so unsure of ourselves that we wait to hear or see someone else do it first, and only then to we actually perform. The result, is we move along in a more downbeat, sluggish tone. And we go along thinking it's life that is dull and downbeat and sluggish, when it's really our insecurity that brings the tempo down for us, and for others. 

There's a joke: "How many Choir conductors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows. No one ever looks at the conductor." How much better would life seem if instead of looking to each other for cues about what to do; we instead looked to our conductor for HIS cues. 

On Eagle's Wings

After the Christmas season, our choir took several weeks off. We supplemented with "Special Music" in the meantime. Today was the first time we performed, but we had no opportunity to rehearse.

Some time ago, I put aside a particular arrangement of "On Eagle's Wings" for just such a situation. This anthem is often performed at funerals, which always come without prior knowledge. In case we have to assemble a choir quickly, and perform at a moment's notice, we have this arrangement in our back pocket. It's very simple: Mostly melody with a "Descant" harmony on the choruses. Often, I'm the one who sings the descant, while the choir, and congregation sing the melody.

So, we performed it today. Not just because of the lack of rehearsal, but it was oddly fitting for the lectionary readings which dealt with putting aside worries, and trusting in God. That, and the Inauguration of Donald Trump happening 2 days ago.

Like many Americans, I find Trump's appointment to the highest office in the land frustrating. In the words written by the cast of "Hamilton;" I, too, am "alarmed and anxious" over it. So, faced with the possibility of an oppressive four years under President Trump, I found solace in singing words such as...

"You need not fear the terror of the night, Nor the arrow that flies by day
Though thousands fall about you, Near you it shall not come.
For to His angels He's given a command, To guard you in all of your ways
Upon their hands they will bear you up Lest you dash your foot against a stone."

But as I sang, another thought occurred to me. Trump's speech on Friday had a frightening tone to it. He described a nightmarish vision of the state of the country.

"Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities; rusted-out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation; an education system flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of knowledge; and the crime and gangs and drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential."
Which he finished with...

"This American carnage stops right here and stops right now."

His entire speech had roughly a similar message as "On Eagle's Wings."  The only difference is that in his speech, he states that we should be relieved that he's in power now, to save us from the troubles of the world; and in the song, we turn to God to save us from the troubles of the world.

You might hear "On Eagle's Wings" and find a different meaning, depending on which set of "facts" you choose to believe; the country is either now in serious trouble for the next 4 years, or it has been for the past 8 years.

What's important to me as a Christian, is whom each scenario turns to for protection and relief. Should we turn to President Trump, or to God? I don't think it's my place to tell you what to believe; but I believe that one of those answers is inherently blasphemous. Even if you do believe that the country needs saving from the current state in Washington, it should be God who guides you, protects you, and gives you solace, not the President, be it President Obama, or President Trump.

As President Lincoln said, "My concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right."

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee. Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked. Because thou hast made the Lord, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Psalm 91:1-12

2017 - New Year's Resolution

Greetings! My New year's resolution for 2017 is to blog again. No longer blogging just for my own sake, but working towards an eventual book. So I want to develop the habit of writing every Sunday after services. I may comment on that day's message, or on musical experiences from the day.
To start the year right, I'd like to re-purpose a blog entry from 2011 titled, "Don't Matter if it's Not Good Enough." Enjoy.

Several years ago, I set out to arrange some Christmas Music, and one of the first songs on my list was "Little Drummer Boy." I've always loved this song; but I didn't know why I loved this song so much until I got down to arranging. I wanted to do something truly original with the song, and the key, for me, was the "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pums." I'm sure it's clear to everyone that "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum" is the sound of the little boy's drum; but I wanted to emphasize that.

I considered having a complete drum accompaniment, which became too noisy. I tried an a cappella accompaniment of voices repeating "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum" over and over, but that didn't work either. Finally, I explored the lyrics and had an idea. Just as the boy in the song plays the drum for the baby Jesus, I play piano. So, I rearranged the song using piano as accompaniment. I'd sing each line, and play an accompanying figure for each "Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum." It refocuses the song and allows the story to shine.

"Come, they told me, a newborn King to see. Our finest gifts we bring, to set before the king, so to honor him when we come. Little Baby, I am a poor boy, too. I have no gift to bring, that's fit to give a king. Shall I play for you? (on my drum)." (Of course, I don't play a drum in my version, so I omit that line.)

The tale is now no longer about a fictional boy visiting the manger, but it's about me. I'm coming before our king and, having no proper gifts to bring, will honor Him with my music.

Then I get to the final verse. "Mary nodded. The Ox and Lamb kept time. I played, I played for Him. I played my best for Him."

At this point of my arrangement, I launch into a few minutes of improvised piano soloing. I purposely did not compose, arrange, or otherwise plan out this section. I want every performance to be "in the moment." I want to freely express myself musically at that moment. And like all improvisation; sometimes it's good, and sometimes, not so much.

There have been performances where I really stink up the place with my playing of this section. I've had rare glimpses of brilliance, but often, it's rather mediocre. I'll admit, it frustrates me when my improvisation isn't up to my own standards. I recall one of the first times I tried the piece, it wasn't that great, and I felt horribly embarrassed. Then I finished singing...

"Then He smiled at me..."

Since I omit "Me and my drum", my song ends here. I realized that this line is the most important. Jesus is pleased with my gift of music, even when the human standards by which I gauge it tell me that it's sub-par. It's not important to Him that I perform amazingly. It's not important to Him that I be perfect. It's important to Him that I perform. That I lift my voice, and my fingers in praise. That I use my gifts, and help others to do so as well.

Often, musicians are encouraged to strive for perfection. And that's a good thing, because who wants to hear music that has incorrect notes in it. But when musicians are obsessed with perfection, it can drive you crazy, and it leads to a condescension that not everyone is cut out to make music. One of the best choices I ever made in my life is letting go of perfectionism, and just enjoying the music making process. Letting go of the feeling of having to be the best, and enjoying the act of being the best I can be. No longer seeing the world as people who are good at music, and those who aren't; and instead embracing a world where every person can be taught to sing and join in with the songs.

My very controversial view of choral singing is that even if you aren't a skilled singer, I can teach you. I've never cut a person from my choir because of a lack of singing ability. Instead I've worked to help them improve their sense of pitch, improve their tone, or just worked to help learn the parts. That way, ideally, everyone can join in with the hymns, anthems and songs of the church service.

A thousand years ago, the Catholic church firmly believed that it was inappropriate to speak prayers; they needed to be sung, or they believed God didn't hear you. I don't believe that, but I DO believe that when a person sings, he prays twice. I am pleased that SUMC includes so much music in their service. Music sends the message directly to your heart and soul as spoken word never can. And when we sing, and express our joy, love, and faith in that way, Jesus smiles at us.

Lord, may our voices raise in pleasing song to your glory. And give our congregation the courage and confidence to raise their own voices in praise to you. And may it make you smile. In Jesus' name we pray.
AMEN

31 These are the men David put in charge of the music in the house of the LORD after the ark came to rest there. ³² They ministered with music before the tabernacle, the tent of meeting, until Solomon built the temple of the LORD in Jerusalem. They performed their duties according to the regulations laid down for them.  - 1 Chronicles 6:31-32

¹⁸ Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. - Ephesians 5:18-20

Holy Week

During Holy week, we remember the time that politicians attempted to silence a man whose words of truth threatened their influence and power. A man whose words rang so true, that to discredit him was nearly impossible. He had to be killed, but only after being humiliated. 

We remember how His words were manipulated in hearings so as to seem like blasphemy. How political threats were used to convince a Governor to act when his instincts knew that the man before him did no wrong. 

How political leaders swayed the public with propaganda into a frenzy against an innocent man who spoke of peace, faith, and charity. How they created a tone of fear in the region that made even the most faithful of apostles deny even knowing their Master. 

How the politicians nurtured hatred to the point where a simple sentence of death became amplified into a bloodbath of torture, humiliation, and suffering. 

We remember these events by reliving them through theatre, music, and dramatic storytelling. We make sure to sing hymns that remind us, "I Crucified You." We remember the crowd shouting, "Let His blood be on us and all our children."

Surely, one reason for this is that it is important to remember how easily people who claimed to be people of faith were so easily manipulated by the simple tools of politics. These same tools are being used today. In this election campaign, for example, politicians once again are manipulating truth, slandering innocent people, and breeding hatred and violence. And once again, people who claim to be people of faith are allowing themselves to be manipulated. 

Let this Holy Week remind us that there is a truth beyond the words of people who wish to acquire or maintain power. Let us remember the consequences of allowing these lies to turn us against each other, and away from God. Let us NOT respond with thoughts of, "Look at what THOSE people did;" but rather with, "Look what, but for the grace of God, we might end up doing." And let it inspire us to focus on the words of Jesus Christ. Let us remember that He defeated them by bearing witness to the Truth. Let us focus on God, and what it truly means to be a Christian. 

 

Broken into Beautiful

Three weeks ago, we sat in the choir loft at St. James Methodist Church, joining their choir in a performance of a beautiful song by Gwen Smith called, "Broken into Beautiful." The song is from a cantata or musical, and references the story of the woman who tried to see Jesus, but the crowd wouldn't let her, because of who she was. The crowd felt that her past had tarnished her character to the point that she was unworthy to see the Lord.

There are a number of stories in the Gospels of people being deemed "unworthy" by society to come before the Lord. And in each one, Jesus sees them and through his intervention, they are healed; made whole again.

Often these stories are used to present the healing power of God. We come to Him as sinners, and through his forgiveness, and his strength, we are cleansed of sin, forgiven, and able to repent and start over again.

It occurred to me, as I listened and sang at that Lenten Service, that maybe the story is much simpler than that. The woman was being kept from Jesus, not by Jesus Himself, but because of the PEOPLE'S judgement of her. Whereas our understanding of the tale was that she was unclean in the eyes of God, and then healed of her sinfulness; in actuality, she was fine in the eyes of God, but she believed she was unworthy because that's what THE CROWD told her.

This is the essence of Bullying. Beyonce Knowles was a beautiful young child with a lovely voice. She'd win talent competitions, and come back to school to meet people who would bully her. Of all things, she was bullied for being TOO pretty, TOO light skinned, TOO talented, TOO successful. The bullies turned something she should have been proud of into something she was ashamed of.

What Jesus does in the story is not a miracle. He doesn't lay hands on her, removing her stains and sins. He doesn't use the power of God to heal her of leprosy or some other horrible, disfiguring disease.  All he does... is acknowledge her being there. He sees her as a woman, worthy of God; one of God's creations just like the rest of us. But after being shunned by society, and told that she was "less than;" Jesus' simple inclusion and acknowledgement was EVERYTHING.

When this occurred to me, I thought of my job as music director. Often, when asked to sing in choir, people say, "Oh, you don't want my voice." "I'm not good enough." "I'll just make you sound horrible." My response is always as it has always been: "Yes, I do; Yes, you are; and No, you won't." (Respectively.) I don't believe in people who "Can't Sing;" only people who haven't learned how to sing. My job as Choir Director is to teach people how.

Think about people who you have seen shunned by society, left out, dismissed as being unworthy, because of OUR judgement, not God's. And think about how you, as a follower of Jesus, could acknowledge them, assure them that they're a child of God, and allow them to be included in our world.

The Three Temptations

As we enter the season of Lent, our thoughts turn towards Jesus' fast in the wilderness. For 40 days, he ate and drank nothing. And towards the end, he was tempted by Satan. 
Now, Satan didn't have a special temptation for the Son of God. Perhaps his intention was to derail Jesus' ministry before it started by tempting Him the way he would tempt ALL men; thus proving that He was merely a man, and not the Messiah. Satan followed the same pattern of temptations with Jesus as he would with any of us; with Mary, the dieter who wants to cheat on her diet; Bobby, the young person being tempted to get into a fist fight; or Steven, the married man tempted to cheat on his wife. 
The first temptation of Jesus was "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." (Matthew 4:3) At the moment of Jesus' greatest starvation, He was tempted to simply create bread out of the stones here; to immediately satisfy his hunger while abandoning what he came out here to do: seek the voice of God and prepare for his mission. Thus, He is tempted with instant gratification.
Mary may be tempted to satisfy her craving for sweets with "just one little bonbon." Bobby, being annoyed by a bully, may be tempted to let out his building anger by punching out the guy; "just one punch, and that'll teach him." That woman may be flirting, and Steven may be feeling certain urges, "who's gonna know, go ahead, kiss her."

Jesus' response was "It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4) In other words, my hunger is one thing, but my commitment to God is more important. Sure, I'll ease my hunger, but I'll have betrayed my Lord. Mary might say, "I can't have that bonbon, I'm trying to be healthy." Bobby: "It WOULD feel good to punch that guy out, but I'm not a violent person." Steven: "I made a commitment to my family, and no amount of instant gratification will make me betray that."

Second Temptation. Satan tried the next tactic: "If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." (Matthew 4:6) Some think that he was tempting Jesus into suicide, but I think he was trying to make Him prove his divinity. "If you're REALLY divine, then you won't die, Angels will save you."

"Come on, you can manage your own diet. A few calories now, and you'll eat an extra salad later." "What are you a wimp? This guy is challenging your manhood. Are you going to take that from him?" "What, does your wife decide what you do? Are you THAT hen-pecked?" 

Jesus' response: "It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’" (Matthew 4:7) In other words, I AM the son of God, which means I don't HAVE to prove it. 

"Yes, I HAVE will power, which means I'll have a celery stick." "A real man would never have to beat up another man to prove it." "I do what my wife would want because it's MY choice to honor her."

On to the final temptation. "All this I will give you,” Satan said, “if you will bow down and worship me." (Matthew 4:9) If you worship Satan, I'll give you whatever you've always wanted.

"Don't you want to be happy? A Celery stick won't make you happy, Chocolate will." "If I fight this guy, I'll be mightier than him, stronger, better. And in the eyes of all these people watching, I'll be awesome." "She's probably REALLY good. I'll be a stud if I can make it with her."

Very tempting, indeed, how do we battle that? Well, Jesus said, "Begone, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only." (Matthew 4:10) Satan's offer is not the only way to seek satisfaction. He made the choice to serve His greater commitment to God, rather than be superlative in any way. Only with God's help will He become the savior He's meant to be. 

"Think of how happy I'll be when I'm thin and healthy, and feeling good about myself." "I'll be the stronger man when I walk away from this argument." "I'm a great man in the eyes of my wife, and that's all I need to be."

In this Lenten Season, I've chosen to deepen my commitment to God by reading an online bible study every day, and to find inspiration in music and share that message with others. No doubt, I'll be tempted with instant gratification: "I'm kinda tired and busy, maybe I can skip it today;" a challenge to my ego: "What are you, one of those crazy, over-preachy Christians?" and probably, an offer to satisfy personal status, "Nobody's listening anyway, wouldn't your time online be better served sharing links to cooking videos?" 

But, as every year, I'll remind myself of how Jesus battled His temptations, and this was after 40 days of NOTHING to eat, Nothing to drink, and blistering wilderness. Compared to Him, my little sacrifice is minuscule. How can I come before Him and say, "Please understand, Lord, I was tired. I was embarrassed. I didn't want to come off as being uncool."  

The Touch of the Master's Hand

So one day my wife got me a gift. It was a thoroughly well thought out, and home made gift, the best kind of all. She had been listening to "Chicken Soup For the Soul" audiobooks, and was particularly touched by a poem called, "The Touch of the Master's Hand" by Myra B. Welch.

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while

To waste much time on the old violin, but held it up with a smile;

"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried, "Who'll start the bidding for me?

A dollar, a dollar; then two! Only two? Two dollars, and who'll make it three?

Three dollars, once; three dollars twice; going for three..." But no,

From the room, far back, a gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow;

Then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings,

He played a melody pure and sweet as caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low,
said; "What am I bid for the old violin?" And he held it up with the bow.
A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two? Two thousand! And who'll make it three?

Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice, and going and gone," said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We do not quite understnad

what changed its worth." Swift came the reply: "The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin,

A "mess of pottage," a glass of wine; a game - and he travels on.

He is going once, and going twice, He's going and almost gone.

But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand

The worth of a soul and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's hand.

In her mind, the poem spoke about the way we as teachers make a difference in people's lives. A student comes to us, sometimes not believing in themselves, often told how worthless they are. Then we bring out some knowledge which helps them discover how meaningful they can be. They have a success in our classroom, and that inspires them to have a few more.

So she typed it up, and printed it a beautiful paper, and framed it and gave it to me for inspiration. I was so inspired, that I set it to music.

It was only later on, when I performed the song in church, that someone pointed out to me that it wasn't "The touch of A master's hand." It was "The Touch of THE Master's Hand." The master, of course, being God. The song also works on the level of meaning how God's presence in our life can change us from the path of self destruction, and failure; towards the life of success and abundance.

I enjoy songs that work on multiple levels like this. It means that even the cynic can gain wisdom, even if they won't acknowledge the sacred in it.